
Sunday, 27 May 2007
Terrible price:

Saturday, 19 May 2007
There!!
Friday, 18 May 2007
Nearly there!
Homesick Howie is no chicken

Howie
Thursday, 17 May 2007
Thursday's update
Up from Kilmarnock to just below Fort William - 110 miles with over 4200 feet of climbing - most with rain and the last 30 miles against a strong westerly wind.
I note that some of the comments are chasing information and defamatory material on each team member.
Oakley upped his ante-post odds with tales of a sore knee - belied by his regular stretching of the peleton, though dwaining towards the end of the longer days. He confronted his vertigo demons today, crossing the 400 foot high Erskine Bridge at Glasgow - pre-empted by a cry of puncture resonating across the bridge as he cycled over a few specks of grit. He later daggered his inner tube to give credibility to his claim!!
Lous has been steadily getting fitter, and has been on slimming pills to reduce his overall cycle payload. Though the slimming has improved his drag coefficient, the wind erosion to speed has been constantly maintained with excessive methane production. He has struggled to adapt to outdoor toilet stops, and is regularly seen in contortive positions trying hard not to empty his bladder inside his lycra shorts whilst maintaining a modicum of decency!!
The Howester has exhibited an encyclopedic knowledge of the works of Rodgers and Hammerstein. His latest lyrical mantra - 'A man without a woman is like a ship without a sail. Like a boat without a rudder, like a fish without a tail. But if there's one thing worse in this Universe - it's a woman without a man!!' He too has pushed the carbon footprint assessment to the limit with gaseous exhaust. He has lost copious amounts of weight, and his legs are now as thin as a former Spice girl's - perhaps Bedfordshire's answer to Posh and Bex?
Brownie has morphed into a creature more machine than human - his Garmin, trip computer and laptop are rarely away from his 3 foot electrical umbilical cord. His directions were sorely questioned today as we entered the Glaswegian suburb of Moscow!! His legs are equally pipe cleaner like, and in cycle trousers look like a charcoaled pair of frog's limbs.
Julian has cleared all before him - equally behind him as he mimics the carrion infested fumes of a hyena's stomach. Achilles tendon problems have passed into annoyance, his aerodynamic profile cutting through any facing wind gusts. He has become team photographer, though the camera phone took a slight knock falling out of his hands over the rough pot holed approach to Windermere. He bravely pinched all the bacon from the Howester's roll today - but managed to resist eating the pork for fear of a swift retribution. His ingestion has included today, muesli, BLT sandwich, bacon roll, lentil soup, jam and cream scone, fruit cake, 2 doughnuts, numerous elevenses nutrigrain bars, mackerel, venison, mixed vegetables and a pear crumble. Can you explain his colonic gas problems?
Flame McNulty? The best rider by some considerable margin - with all othe riders beggingfor help in technique and autographed shirts. Apart from his bungee jump into the Bridgewater Canal, there has been little to report - barring regular bad jokes, singing and talking more excrement than the cesspit can contain.
Bikes - many punctures, quite often typified by a further deflation within 3 miles of repair. 400 pounds of spares being fitted fast!!
2 days to go - keep in touch!!
Wednesday, 16 May 2007
Back on line:
Yesterday by contrast was glorious weather with terrific views through the Lake District - Windermere was half way at 480 miles, and it seemed all downhill from there - how wrong we were!!
We left Penrith this morning, and the weather was overcast. Within an hour, it was pouring down. We crossed into Scotland at Gretna, in dreadful conditions but good spirits.
Bodies are hurting - Jules' Achilles is hurting, Brownie is struggling with the cold and Oakley's knee is aching.
We are kept going by the texts and comments - so please keep these up. They say a picture speaks a thousand words - here are the Adonis, old man, halfway team picture and eating stop.
Bren and the the team.
Monday, 14 May 2007
Progress:
Avonmouth and Severn (old) bridges almost lost in the mist.
Travelling over the Severn bridge was a highlight - you really appreciate the view, drop and engineering!!
Hit Monmouth at 4.00 with spirits low - 50 miles left at 4.30. 8.10 end to the day - almost 13 hours out!!
Saw Joddrell Bank today from a better pespective, having spent the day riding in far better though windy conditions.
Kiers indispensable today - spending over 400.00 on the parts needed to repair over 10 punctures, wheel problems and general muck in the gears causing jumping and missing.
Now got Dave Parratt, Nigel Brookes and Jon Lord helping Alan Bretherton - there were some intersting driving manouevres worthy of Dennis Waterman in the Sweeney!!
Owen Smith has also joined us for a few hours to celebrate over 97 miles in a brisk headwind at over 15 average.
Going well - keep the comments and messages coming!!
Bren and the team
Sunday, 13 May 2007
Saturday, 12 May 2007
Update:


Moulam was last seen with the Hotel Receptionist, discussing pastie recipes.
Bullers did not see a sign 12 foot high and reversed into it.
McNulty slipped on a bridge and fell into a weir - the bikes OK though.
Fuller reports to follow, and we will keep you updated with latest photos as we progress.
Two hard days work - 181 miles and lots of rain, though the wind has mostly been behind us.
Most of the wind has come from Howester and Syrup following a diet of tuna sandwiches, pasties and T bones.
Bullers, Kav, Margaret and Moulam have done a great job in support, and our thanks to NMT crane hire for the use of the van - indispensable!
Still, enough kindness.
Kav was weighed in as the heaviest - explained later by his constant comfort eating of Snickers bars. He is like a bulimic, only without the vomiting.
Bullers had a millinery incident - his suit carrier suffering a fall from the makeshift rail he has created in the van. He also tried to cut up all the cyclists, whilst simultaneously blaming the 'ginge winge'.
Oakley has kept us all comatose with tales of white line painting - really something to be missed!
Pags has developed the pervert look, complete with mysterious glasses and a rather revealing tight pair of cycle shorts.
Brownie has a gimp like Greco-Roman wrestling outfit, and we have been offered money on several occasions by farmers' cousins in the middle of Somerset.
Lous(e) has struggled along with the Howester to change gears, and the click of derailleur has been replaced by a mallet like thumping as encouragement to change gear.
Flame did a stunt fall on a bridge - sliding Starsky-like through the safety barrier into a weir!
Margaret has been the calming mother figure.
More to report later!!
Bren
Friday, 11 May 2007
Thursday, 10 May 2007
On the way:

Wednesday, 9 May 2007
Raring to go!!

The forecast is poor weather, but the wind will be behind us for the first few days at least, and we have the possibility of a dry start to the ride.
From day 2, the mileage ramps up to average 110+ each day, and the saddle pains join the rest of our aching bodies for at least 8 hours cycling each day - possibly as much as 10 on some of the hillier sections.
First to declare bodily injury has been Oakley, our team hypochondriac and wig wearer. Syrup has complained of acute capsular atrophy - translated as a sore knee. His self treatment involved alcohol abuse and a sleep in front of the Arsenal v Chelsea game, which has prompted a Lazarus like recovery.
Second to the Altar of NHS Direct has been Brownie, sporting a Celebrity style damaged metatarsal. Unlike Beckham and Rooney, his injury occurred whilst ironing in some of his wife's clothes - well her Scholl sandals at least. His recovery is paramount as he is the only one to understand the route planned down to 1,897 way points.
From the photo of readiness above, you will see that we need all the help we can get - good blogging!
Monday, 7 May 2007
Carbon neutral:

Paddock Mates for the Alpaca's?

Are they waiting for words of wisdom? No, intuitively they knew that our leader was a likely source of carrots, even before he had removed his helmet. Needing the carrots himself, he couldn't kerb his generosity and much to BNUT's disgust, fed them all of our reserves of bananas!
Our last training run yesterday with only 4 sleeps to go, except for the odd snore on the settee. A big thank you to Mark and Bex for an excellent lunch and Sue for the puddings. Two more meals like that and I will need Mark's XXXL cycle top.
After 6 weeks the wind has at last changed (and not because of yesterdays chilli con carne) but thankfully the north easterly's have now moved to south westerly's giving the prospect of 15 - 20 mph winds helping us through the climbs of Cornwall and Devon next Friday & Saturday.
Click here for an Alpaca update:
http://www.wellground.com/Alpacas/index1.htm
Dad
Friday, 4 May 2007
Training on the way:

Wednesday, 2 May 2007
9 Sleeps to go:

All bikes are to be 'scrutineered' by an expert panel of lightweight rulesworths, following a tip off from the International Federation of Performance Enhancing Prevention (IFPEP), through their Chatroom listening division.
Performance enhancing foods containing excessive fats - saturated or unsaturated, Apple based alcoholic drinks are banned.