Another hard day in the saddle - well over 3 quarters of the way, with 730 miles to date.
Up from Kilmarnock to just below Fort William - 110 miles with over 4200 feet of climbing - most with rain and the last 30 miles against a strong westerly wind.
I note that some of the comments are chasing information and defamatory material on each team member.
Oakley upped his ante-post odds with tales of a sore knee - belied by his regular stretching of the peleton, though dwaining towards the end of the longer days. He confronted his vertigo demons today, crossing the 400 foot high Erskine Bridge at Glasgow - pre-empted by a cry of puncture resonating across the bridge as he cycled over a few specks of grit. He later daggered his inner tube to give credibility to his claim!!
Lous has been steadily getting fitter, and has been on slimming pills to reduce his overall cycle payload. Though the slimming has improved his drag coefficient, the wind erosion to speed has been constantly maintained with excessive methane production. He has struggled to adapt to outdoor toilet stops, and is regularly seen in contortive positions trying hard not to empty his bladder inside his lycra shorts whilst maintaining a modicum of decency!!
The Howester has exhibited an encyclopedic knowledge of the works of Rodgers and Hammerstein. His latest lyrical mantra - 'A man without a woman is like a ship without a sail. Like a boat without a rudder, like a fish without a tail. But if there's one thing worse in this Universe - it's a woman without a man!!' He too has pushed the carbon footprint assessment to the limit with gaseous exhaust. He has lost copious amounts of weight, and his legs are now as thin as a former Spice girl's - perhaps Bedfordshire's answer to Posh and Bex?
Brownie has morphed into a creature more machine than human - his Garmin, trip computer and laptop are rarely away from his 3 foot electrical umbilical cord. His directions were sorely questioned today as we entered the Glaswegian suburb of Moscow!! His legs are equally pipe cleaner like, and in cycle trousers look like a charcoaled pair of frog's limbs.
Julian has cleared all before him - equally behind him as he mimics the carrion infested fumes of a hyena's stomach. Achilles tendon problems have passed into annoyance, his aerodynamic profile cutting through any facing wind gusts. He has become team photographer, though the camera phone took a slight knock falling out of his hands over the rough pot holed approach to Windermere. He bravely pinched all the bacon from the Howester's roll today - but managed to resist eating the pork for fear of a swift retribution. His ingestion has included today, muesli, BLT sandwich, bacon roll, lentil soup, jam and cream scone, fruit cake, 2 doughnuts, numerous elevenses nutrigrain bars, mackerel, venison, mixed vegetables and a pear crumble. Can you explain his colonic gas problems?
Flame McNulty? The best rider by some considerable margin - with all othe riders beggingfor help in technique and autographed shirts. Apart from his bungee jump into the Bridgewater Canal, there has been little to report - barring regular bad jokes, singing and talking more excrement than the cesspit can contain.
Bikes - many punctures, quite often typified by a further deflation within 3 miles of repair. 400 pounds of spares being fitted fast!!
2 days to go - keep in touch!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Pictures, but no comments about the fine Doctor, I note? I guess that by the time you read this message you will have just the one day to go. Magnificent effort guys and I hope the weather improves for you.
Post a Comment